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February 14 Love is in the air“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”
~Jason Jordan
“Whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well”
~ Vincent Van Gogh
“Everyone says ‘I Love You’… So what do you think Columbus do when a he a get here in 1492, he said to Pocahontas ‘Atcha Gucchi Gucchi Goo’ which means you little son of a gun ‘I Love You’”
~Chico Marx
Love is in the air….
So is the flu.
Today is Valentines Day, a day that is celebrated by the time honored tradition of women who plan for weeks what they will bestow on their special someone and of men, rushing out at the last minute to get their special someone that special card and that special I-totally-forgot-today-was-valentines-day-until-I-heard-that-commercial-on-the-radio-coming-home-and-thank-God-for-the-never-fails-to-have-on-hand-display-at the-drug-store box o’ chocolates.
I love my wife more than anything else on this planet, but I hate Valentines Day, not for what it represents, but because once again we have this merchant induced ‘holiday’ that tells us we must Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, oh yeah and, BLAH!
I don’t need a special day to tell me to show my wife that I love her, by getting her this special diamond or these beautiful arrangement of flowers or this cannot fail box of chocolates, I told her on our wedding day that I loved her and that if anything were to change, that I would let her know. Actually, I tell her everyday that I love her, and it really is more than just a way to end a phone call to her.
I first laid eyes on her in 7th grade and for me it really was love a first sight. I know it was different for her; she is a much smarter person than that. She is the kind that will research something – to death, and then make a decision. I on the other hand am an impulsive individual and my research into something usually goes like this:
“Mmmmmm, shiny, I want it”.
She was Shiny.
In the typical fashion of a thirteen-year-old male, I made no doubt about the fact that I loved her. How?, I acted goofy around her; I would bowl my text book down the long hallway and into the open door of our classroom to try to land it under her feet as she sat at her desk by the door; I would have wooden ruler sword fights with other idiots in the class (and let me tell you, there is a lot of pain that that goes with this rite of stupidity); anything to make her laugh,get me noticed and by proxy, make myself and my feelings known to her. Everything that is except to say ‘I love you’ (or the young teenager version; Um, I really like you and would you um like to um maybe go to a um movie or um um um um um …..).
I was not that brave and I was very clumsy with words, so the clown act would have to be the doorway to her heart.
Stalking her also became a handy tool to my homemade cupid’s arsenal. Not the serious stalking that we hear about today, basically I would just try to be wherever I overheard she would be and make it seem like a complete coincidence. Success would be that she would actually see me as I pretended not to see her and if fortune were to truly shine down on me, she might even come over and say “Hi”.
I also took up running at this time. She lived several blocks away from me so it was easy to come up with a running course that circled around the area of her house, but (and this was super clever of me) never past her house. This would assure that if she were out and about, that I had a very good chance of running into her (excuse the pun), without making it look like I was just stalking her. This activity also proved that love is very healthy for you; all that running had me in the best shape of my life.
Keep in mind that this was not a 24/7 plan. I did have a life outside of my quest for love.
I had ‘guy’ things to do, which are too long to recount here but suffice it to say that as I look back on them now, I truly did have a lot of fun. But those are stories for another time.
Several years past; Junior High turned into Senior High School and it was during this time, the spring of our 10th grade year to be exact, that my long term labor of love came to fruition; Yes I know, three years is a long time for seeds to sprout but I was trying to build a house not with a hammer and saw, but with a rock and a knife; not at all the proper tools, but if it is what you got, you use it and eventually it will get the job done. I also had refined my ‘get the girl’ technique with the addition of actually meeting her by her locker during the day just to say hi and talk a little before we were off to our separate classes. Never anything more than that, for while I was in love, I didn’t know if she were interested at all in me and I was too afraid of losing even the slightest hope of there ever being anything between us by doing something stupid like saying; Um, I really like you and would you um like to um maybe go to a um movie or um um um um um …
It was the evening of the Senior class school play ‘Carousel’. I arrived about a half hour early and took a seat around the middle section of the auditorium; waiting for her to walk in (and also to see the show; Really. I have always been a fan of old movies and Carousel was always a favorite and as luck would have it, she too was a fan of old movies, especially the musicals. SO THERE!). About ten minutes later, she walked in with several friends and took seats about five rows in front of me. After sitting down, I saw her look around the auditorium to see the turnout and then turn back to face the front and talk to her friends. Oh well, she didn’t see me, but I saw her and that would be OK for now. There would always be an exiting chance to bump into her and at the very least, I would get to see a good play. Or so I thought.
Just as the lights dimmed for the play to begin, I watched her get up out of her seat, walk back five rows and take a different seat; the one that happened to be right next to me. She may have asked me if I minded her sitting there, I can’t say for sure because there was a loud noise in my ears like standing next to a water falls, but I must have said something clever like “Ah no”, because she remained. And just as the play began, she reached over a held my hand.
I do not recall the play at all, just the rushing sound in my ears, the pouning in my chest and the touch of her hand, but I do remember it as being the best play I ever attended and to this day, Carousel is my favorite movie musical.
Everything changed after that night. I no longer was a peripheral object around her life but someone in her life, and this was plain to see by anyone who took notice of the boy and the girl who were often with each other and holding hands. I also realize that the route I took to get to that point was like trying to get to Canada from New Jersey by way of the South Pole, but it was the only way I knew and so I took my prolonged route one step at a time, but I did made it.
Some say that we were meant to be together and that it would have happened no matter what, and perhaps they are right. But I also like to believe that for once in my life, being a coward actually was the correct path to take; it was so hard fought for in my mind that I never take her being with me for granted. She deserves so much better than me, but I could have not done better than her in a thousand lifetimes.
So I sit here on this snowy Valentines Day, thirty-six years after I first set eyes on the only girl for me, without a card and without a box of chocolates. The snow has kept both of us at home along with the kids who have no school. She will bake cookies as she always does on these winter mornings and she will put aside a good portion of them just for me. She looks out the window at the snow, turns and says “Valentines Day couldn’t get any better than this”. In a couple of days, we will go out to dinner and have our ‘Valentines Night together, on our terms and not Hallmark’s or Godiva’s or any of the other entities out there trying to make a buck off my hard work. And I will look across the table into the eyes that I can never stop gazing into, and wonder how I ever Really got fortunate enough to be with this woman.
Love is in the air; it's the air we both breath every day.
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