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February 05 STUFF YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE UP... Chapter 2"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years".
~Abraham Lincoln
"Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise".
~Alice Walker
"The only danger is if they send us to that terrible planet of the apes".
~Homer Simpson
My wife told me a story that had been told to her by her sister, which was so Seinfeld-ish in nature that I had to ask my sister in law myself if it were true. She assured me that it was. And so I present to you, this strange and mysterious tale (with all due apologies to Clement Clarke Moore).
WITHOUT A LEG TO STAND ON
T’was a day in October of just this past year
A fine sunny day with the sky bright and clear,
The leaves were all nestled in their branches still green
With only a hint of their true colors sheen.
Allen the father and Connie his wife
Took Scott their first born and Jen, who followed later in life,
To the Super Mega theme park just an hour away
And spend a small fortune to have a fun day.
So following their journey they entered the gate
After being on a line (another hour’s wait),
To stand at the threshold of this theme park Nirvana
“Mom can we get something to eat, we wanna, we wanna!”
So after the eating (which cost fifty bucks more)
And finding the bathrooms (which was no easy chore),
They headed on out to hit their first ride
But as usual they would find no luck on their side.
Because Scott is a thinker and careful to weigh
Any danger from any ride that may come his way,
So wouldn’t you know it that the first ride they hit,
Would cause him to ponder and so he did sit.
For you see it was not just your regular ride
Not the kind that the kiddies could ever abide,
It was the newest and biggest and fastest at hand
And none but the bravest would it now demand.
It loomed great before him, a menacing site
By its very nature a cold hearted fright,
Its great looping motion and bone chilling sweeps
With legs dangling wildly from its open air seats
The Angel of Death was it’s true given name
With promises of terror of thrills and of pain,
The biggest and baddest roller coaster around
Where truly great danger must surely abound.
So Scott found himself now all worried with fear
If he went on this ride that true danger be near,
So he sat on a bench that also bordered a lake
For he knew that he had a decision to make.
Always so careful to calculate risk
No matter the venue, no matter place
His family knew better than to try to berate
So they went on without him and he, to their fate.
He studied the framework, calculated the curves
Read into the screams from overhead he overheard,
Ever careful to measure every aspect of danger
If he were to climb onto this body re-arranger.
He watched and he watched and he watched the great ride
To see if there was really some true terror to spy,
And yet no matter how much he thought about going
He just could not get past the un-reconciled unknowing.
And just when he thought perhaps he would change his mind
There came to him a message of the life changing kind,
From somewhere above and slightly stage right
Came an answer that was of an unusual sight.
It wasn’t a bird and it wasn’t a plane
And it sure as hell wasn’t jolly Santa and sleigh,
But what was it that to his eyes should appear,
But a leg that had fallen from off somebody’s rear.
It rocketed at him at such a great rate
That he screamed like a girl and ducked not a moment too late,
For it zoomed over head and just missing its mark,
To land in the lake, by the ride, in the park.
He couldn’t believe it, he was actually right,
That EVIL contraption tried to kill him this night,
And as he stood there a shaking, a crowd started to form,
To see the leg floating there, by just a few feet or more.
In the meantime for mother and father and daughter
The ride was now over and they started to un-board her,
They remarked how it was truly so thrilling and fun
But now it was time to go get their son.
As they exited the ride what strange sight should they see
But a man with one leg that ended at the knee,
He was sitting quite calmly but somewhat perturbed
That his artificial leg flew off when they rounded the curve.
When they got to the spot where they last left their son
They saw that a work crew had found the leg on the run,
They were fishing it out of the lake that did hold it
And Scott filled them in on the epic that unfolded.
“So now you see Scott”, they started to say,
“That the true danger was not on the ride, but the staying away”,
“And if you had joined us, then you too would now see,
That to enjoy your life fully, you must set your fears free”.
He pondered a moment at what they had stated,
For it was true that his fears could be too overrated,
So then he announced to his family and said;
“The next time you want to go out and have fun, I’ll just stay in my bed”.
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